Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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