I wish I only lived at night.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
