proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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