it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
