Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
