i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
