I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
