I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
