I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
