whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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