i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
You smell like stripper and shame
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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