Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
