my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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