No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
