I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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