your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
