I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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