I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
