I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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