So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize