OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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