He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
