Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
