wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
