Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I smell like Dick and happiness
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
