happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
