Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
