Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
