i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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