Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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