Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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