will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
