So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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