now i know why i became what i already was.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
