Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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