I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
