How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We have started to decorate penises.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
