I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
