16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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