so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
