i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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