New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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