just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
