I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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