a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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