i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
