New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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