Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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