Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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