Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
