Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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