My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
