I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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