The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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